Healing Myself

Monday, November 28, 2005

Anger

I am fucking angry.  I haven't a clue why I am angry, but I know that I am.  I am completely out of control inside - not that anyone would know.  I tend to bottle my anger response because, most of the time, I don't let it out.  I just sit there and let it disappear.  But, over the last while, I have been learning that doing this procedure of keeping the anger inside - isn't necessarily a good thing.

So, I have been letting it out.  If someone says something I believe is stupid (which may or may not be true), I explode.  Not in a bad way, but my voice raises and I let it out.  I feel horrible for having done it afterwards, but I guess I tend to let it out to keep my sanity now.

I guess that is why I have not been posting here.  I promised myself that I would let my emotions out and let them splash onto this electronic page but each time I sit down to write, I feel as though nothing I write is any value.  Actually, that isn't entirely true.  I feel that what I have to say is of a type of value but it may be something stupid.  Right now, I just want to tell people to "fuck off and die".

Argh.  Anger is something I don't like to express.  But, I suppose I need to learn.

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