How I Got Here

How did I get to this point? That is a very good question.

How did I get the courage to post deeply personal information on the Internet? I think the easy way to answer this question is to say that I was pushed along by an actor.

In 2004, Tim Robbins won the best supporting actor Oscar for the movie Mystic River. Here is what he said:

In this movie I play the victim of abuse and violence. If you are a person out there and have had this tragedy, there is no shame in seeking counselling. It takes courage. Sometimes it is the only thing you can do to stop the cycle of violence.

When I heard that speech, something inside me went off. Something pulled at both my heart strings and my "panic button" that told me it was time. It still took me another few months to come up with the courage, but I did it.

I made a call.

Now, well over a year later, I have run into another problem. I want to talk about this experience with family and friends, but I simply can't. None of them know and I have a horrible fear of telling them. But, I still needed an outlet. I needed more. But, fear and shame, keep me from talking.

So, here I am.

I have a lot of ground to cover before this blog is done, so, I will keep this one short. Oh, and a quick thank you to Tim Robbins. I am certain you will never stumble across this site, but should you ever - I do send you a warm thanks.