Why I Am Doing This?

I am doing this blog for educational purposes as well as for myself. Because of where I am in "my head", I am not prepared to talk about this information outside of a safe environment - but I still crave feedback from people.

For the last year, I have been in therapy and I seem to have reached a point where I feel, deep within myself, a voice trying to get out. I don't seem able to release this voice except through the act of writing. So, naturally, I decided to blog. I still feel very scared when speaking about this information, but I feel I can remain safely anonymous here while still sharing my experiences.

It is important to me I share my story with others and possibly help someone to find an unseen courage to seek help and find themselves a place where they may feel safe to talk about their experiences.

Who Am I?

I am a male in his mid-thirties and about ten years ago, I began to have nightmares. It turned out these nightmares were memories of horrible events. I came to realize I had been attacked and sexually tortured by some older boys in my neighborhood and was not able to defend myself.

I was seven.

I want to make people aware of male sexual abuse. I don't want it to be a taboo subject any longer. I want to end the secret conversations. I want people to talk openly about abuse and how it can destroy people's lives - even small bits at a time.